Monday, March 23, 2009

Sour Patch Tooth Grenades.

Dammit, dammity, damn damn damn. Of all the the things I procrastinate in doing, going to the dentist is the thing that I am paying for the most.

DEARLY.

I used to love candy as a kid. Candy and cakes. I started with the BS "common candy" as I like to call it...Bazooka Joe gum, Bubbaloo, the spanish "Gum Bol", Butterscotches from Grandma's Dish...and my love for candy just grew and grew.
I never came around to licorice candies, jelly beans and candy corn. YUCK...

...but when I found sour candy? What?! It was a WRAP.
Sour Apple Blow Pops (pause), Blu Raspberry Blow Pops (double pause), Cry Babies, Eye Poppers...they even had this like sour salt type of shit when I moved to Texas called Lucas (gotta google that see if it's still around), but my mom didn't want me eatin that shit because she said it was like salt. That shit was like eating Kool-Aid straight out the packet, son!

Point? I am nearing 24 and cannot fathom eating half of the candy I grew up loving.
I bought $1.25 worth of Sour Patch Kids Watermelon Slices, and got through about 3 of them. My teeth were on fire.

Bombs.

Little sticky, gummy grenades caught in the cracks and crevices of my teeth - exploding in a rush of pain from the cavity unknown.

They really try to warn ya when your young, kiddies.
"Dont' eat all that candy - you'll rot yer teeth out!"
You think, "How is that possible? Rot my teeth? I'd have to eat like 10lbs of sugar straight to rot MY teeth out..."

Nope. All you gotta do is have a sweettooth for about 20 years straight and you'll be wishin' you picked up a celery stick for every Sour Power/Twizzler you devoured...i know I am.

**UPDATE**

So I Googled that Lucas candy salt -ish, right? Turns out that they BANNED that shit because it contained dangerous levels of lead...and I used to EAT that shit! You can read about it here...damn Mexicans and their fucked up candy!

3 comments:

ToriElla said...

Wow!! That "Lucas" candy shit is crazy!! Lol...& I have never had any teeth problems my mom would only allow me candy on fridays. Lol & my whole family obeyed that rule so I never really developed a sweet tooth...or cavities. Lol

Lelan said...

thats horrible. A candy filled with hella lead.

Britt Britt said...

Ur teeth situation...that's allll bad!

The song u have playing...THAT'S SERIOUS!